I will be making these live in my kitchen, 8pm tomorrow (Monday August 24th).
Come and join me, if you have the app on your phone? Grab the ingredients if you fancy!
Do make sure you are subscribed, to receive a timely notification and to gain access into my kitchen …
Hello my readers, cookers, and kitchen rockets!
These are exactly what they sound like – ballistically creamy, nourishing treats that won’t detract from your health or your happiness.
Mic. Drop.
And now, they are YOURS to enjoy. A treat to love, that loves your body back!
✔️ Bonkers tasty
✔️ Fast to make
✔️ Healthy and satisfying alternative to junkfood
✔️ One recipe yields 12 bars (or 24 snacks). Teens will save a fortune on protein bars.
✔️ Flexible – try variations outside of raspberry and orange (freeze dried strawberry and pistachio? A blanket of desiccated coconut on top of the melted dark chocolate layer? Cacao nibs and hazelnuts for an Italian feel? Walnuts, for a brownie vibe?)
✔️ Ready to eat straight freezer with no defrost time necessary
You already know that eating rubbish in the long term will result in feeling like rubbish. By rubbish, I mean super-processed foods that are high in sugar, chemicals, and cheap disfigured fats. We rob our body of the nutrition it needs to function optimally. This is not quantum physics. It’s just math, and took me a while to learn in my twenties (longer than I’d like to admit! But more on that, and my mammoth health journey, next month).
If we eat natural, whole, minimally processed foods, our body will function well and we will fizz through the day. That’s because wholefoods are hearty and healthy, nourishing our body and taxing it less. “It’s better to pay the grocer than the doctor” - Michael Pollan
With this in mind, here’s a faux-trashy treat when your sugar cravings come crashing in. Plus, you can turn them into ‘protein bars’ for ravenous teens by using flavourless protein powder in the base.
Expect fudgy, chewy chunks of chocolatey madness with no refined muck to compromise your health, stuffed with heart-healthy phytosterols and plant lignans.
Phytosterols, the chaps humming inside tahini sesame paste, are a plant sterol celebrated for its cholesterol-lowering dance moves.
Scientists have shown that phytosterols are structurally similar to our body’s cholesterol and can in theory compete with cholesterol for absorption in the digestive system. Which basically makes these Badass Bars feel like the Harry Styles of cholesterol-lowering plant sterols. Sign me up!
One bite will have you cross-eyed with joy, while the nuts attempt an Ocean's Eleven heist on your cholesterol reading. Unsalted raw nuts contain special-agent monounsaturated fats that can help raise your HDL while lowering the menacing LDL. Yes please. More on that in the Lancet.
You’ll be getting extra arginine too, necessary to make our own nitric oxide. Athletes love nitric oxide as it is thought to help deliver more oxygen and nutrients to active muscles. I can see the attraction. Nitric oxide is also terrific for relaxing blood vessels and blood flow. Think of it as Bach for the blood.
Raspberries, as you know, are a powerhouse of vitamin C, fibre, and polyphenols. They are not only seriously tasty, but their polyphenol and fibre content work together as prebiotics, feeding our metropolis of gut bacteria. We like.
What else? Dark chocolate is surprisingly high in magnesium, fibre and polyphenols – the darker, the better. The mere whiff of chocolate has the magical ability to vaccinate me against bad moods. Try eating these Badass Bars while staying cross or hangry (physically impossible, according to my extensive research).
A note on freezer foods
My freezer is my BF. Without it, my personality would have the charisma of a nail clippers. Freezers are basically a second adrenal gland, working fulltime to buffer my stress levels. My freezer stores an entire catalogue of healthy snacks so my teenagers don’t run to the shops for junk; there are handy pasta sauces that defrost in minutes; batch-cooked meals for chaotic weeks; gloriously tasty soups; even frozen bananas ready to service smoothies and acai bowls. Get to know yours. You are destined to be best friends forever.
Hallowed be the freezer.
Other goodies you can eat straight from the freezer?
Pistachio, Pomegranate and Rosewater Halva
Wholefood Caramel Squares
My recipe index is here, for you to have a gander
Until next time, crew! Looking forward to hanging with you in my kitchen tomorrow evening. Drop a comment if I can help. I love welcoming you into my home.
Love, light, and phytosterols,
Susan Jane
x
Welcome to all my new subscribers, and my loyal Sunday Independent readers. I see you! A gift, to welcome you back into my kitchen …
Making the leap to Substack has been so nourishing as a cook and a writer. I get to connect with you, my most valued readers right here. No annoying ads spraying in our eyes, no controlling algorithms dictating what we see. No spambots. Just unadulterated kitchen talk from my space to yours.
// Badass Bars with Raspberry & Orange//
I will be making these Badass Bars live in my kitchen at 8pm on Monday August 24th. Come and join me, if you have the app on your phone! An email reminder will be sent at 7:59pm, with a direct link to the app. Magic.
For the base
12-15 very sticky dates (eg these, medjools or deglet)
185g any nut (I use cashews)
2 tablespoons cacao powder (or 3 of flavourless protein powder)
Pinch of sea salt
(1 teaspoon of water sometimes necessary)
For the filling
2 tablespoons extra virgin coconut oil
2 tablespoons cacao powder (optional)
120ml maple syrup
200g runny tahini
3 tablespoons freeze dried raspberries
Pinch of sea salt
To top
100g 70% dark chocolate, melted
1 unwaxed orange
Step 1
Remove any stones from the dates, and discard.
Step 2
Then, using a food processor, pelt your sticky dates with your nuts, optional protein or cacao powder, and a touch of sea salt until they begin to resemble large crumbs. Add a teeny tiny bit of water to bring it all together – no more than a teaspoon!
Step 3
Press over a large loaf tin, lined with non-stick parchment. Place in the freezer while you get going on the filling.
Step 4
Gently melt the coconut oil in a saucepan, turning off the heat as soon as it turns into a transparent liquid. Whisk in your optional cacao.
Step 5
Stir through your maple syrup, and tahini. Finally, beat in the freeze-dried raspberries and a smattering of flaky sea salt.
Step 6
Scrape the filling over your base, and return to the freezer to firm up.
We like to pour melted dark chocolate across the tahini layer, decorate with strips of orange rind, and freeze. But if you prefer, you can leave the melted chocolate out and simply press orange rind on top.
As soon as the slab is solid, and the melted chocolate is set, you can cut into 12 bars and store in a reusable freezer bag for easy access.
